This world, sure is uncertain!
It is vague, ambiguous,
and I am just a part of it.
I can't assure you I would be perfect,
I can't say I would be the best,
I might move with the flock
Carry on the daily chores without much enthusiasm,
My acts could be flawed,
I might....
just be another guy around...
..like how I had been all these years..
But my dear,
if there is anything I am certain about,
Anything I can assure you
and swear about,
Hear this my love,
"I would always love you
with all that I have got".
Friday, September 18, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
In LOVE
And then came the reply.
People say, being in love is fun. Yes, sure it is. But it is nigh
impossible to keep your feet grounded. Let me tell you 2 incidents to
highlight my predicament.
First is about the mundane activity of switching off a light. I can see
you wondering, 'what's the big deal?'. You are correct. In fact no one
notices anything about flipping the switches. Not until they are in
love! I took, believe it or not, close to 3 minutes to turn off a light!
My thoughts were so pre-occupied that I kept hitting in and around the
switch, but not on it. Even if i hit on spot, it was so slow that it
didn't turn off the light! gosh!
Second is about driving my bike. I have seen posters advertising 'Don't
drink and drive'. How I wonder they missed out, 'don't be in love and
drive'! No, Iam serious. Yesterday while coming from railway station to
my home, through the route I have been using for years now, I jumped 2
signals, took about 3 wrong turns, each time cursing myself and begging
to concentrate! It was a relief when I reached my apartment at last,
which was short lived, as I entered into a wrong flat.
But still I love the fact that Iam in love! Why should't I? Now I have that extra spring in my steps.
Felt sorry for the guys who were trying to catch up with me, while going for a tea!
They ofcourse were puzzled and asked for a reason.. Reason??? I AM IN LOVEEEEeeee.. shh.. silent!
People say, being in love is fun. Yes, sure it is. But it is nigh
impossible to keep your feet grounded. Let me tell you 2 incidents to
highlight my predicament.
First is about the mundane activity of switching off a light. I can see
you wondering, 'what's the big deal?'. You are correct. In fact no one
notices anything about flipping the switches. Not until they are in
love! I took, believe it or not, close to 3 minutes to turn off a light!
My thoughts were so pre-occupied that I kept hitting in and around the
switch, but not on it. Even if i hit on spot, it was so slow that it
didn't turn off the light! gosh!
Second is about driving my bike. I have seen posters advertising 'Don't
drink and drive'. How I wonder they missed out, 'don't be in love and
drive'! No, Iam serious. Yesterday while coming from railway station to
my home, through the route I have been using for years now, I jumped 2
signals, took about 3 wrong turns, each time cursing myself and begging
to concentrate! It was a relief when I reached my apartment at last,
which was short lived, as I entered into a wrong flat.
But still I love the fact that Iam in love! Why should't I? Now I have that extra spring in my steps.
Felt sorry for the guys who were trying to catch up with me, while going for a tea!
They ofcourse were puzzled and asked for a reason.. Reason??? I AM IN LOVEEEEeeee.. shh.. silent!
Saturday, September 5, 2009
falling in love
I have read many texts that talk of ‘falling in love’. Some of my friends keep raving about it. Add to that the number of romantic and not so romantic movies that I have seen. And then, of course the dreams…
But none had prepared me to face one! I was helpless when THE moment came. The first sight. gosh!! What to say? It sent a shrill through my veins. Top to bottom. No text’s or movie dialogues came to my rescue. Nor did the numerous number of sequences that I had dreamt of.
I think my name was asked. Not sure what I answered.
Every think went blank. No one else was seen. I was just a bundle of nerves. That's a gross understatement. The situation belted the shit out of me.. Still an understatement. Heart was pounding damn fast, more than double of what happens with a very strenuous workout (yea, I do them, some-times!). It was tough keeping my emotions in check. I didn’t want to act stupid in front of all those people. Not sure whether I succeeded, most likely not, but still euphoric. Yea, seems strange, but thatz the fact. Being in this situation is much better than never being there at all. A pleasure, ecstasy and bliss with a tinge of pain. Unique experience. All those who never experienced this may wonder, ‘what the heck?’ I feel sorry for those guys.
Now I am waiting anxiously for the response. Yea, of all the crazy thing I did, one sane act was to tell her what I felt. Always thought that was the toughest part, but strangely waiting for the response can be equally taxing, especially when you know that there is some chance.
But none had prepared me to face one! I was helpless when THE moment came. The first sight. gosh!! What to say? It sent a shrill through my veins. Top to bottom. No text’s or movie dialogues came to my rescue. Nor did the numerous number of sequences that I had dreamt of.
I think my name was asked. Not sure what I answered.
Every think went blank. No one else was seen. I was just a bundle of nerves. That's a gross understatement. The situation belted the shit out of me.. Still an understatement. Heart was pounding damn fast, more than double of what happens with a very strenuous workout (yea, I do them, some-times!). It was tough keeping my emotions in check. I didn’t want to act stupid in front of all those people. Not sure whether I succeeded, most likely not, but still euphoric. Yea, seems strange, but thatz the fact. Being in this situation is much better than never being there at all. A pleasure, ecstasy and bliss with a tinge of pain. Unique experience. All those who never experienced this may wonder, ‘what the heck?’ I feel sorry for those guys.
Now I am waiting anxiously for the response. Yea, of all the crazy thing I did, one sane act was to tell her what I felt. Always thought that was the toughest part, but strangely waiting for the response can be equally taxing, especially when you know that there is some chance.
God at least let the results out soon!
I have given so many tests/exams in my life so far, than I care to remember. Yet the one given yesterday was something different… being examine and an examiner was quite an experience. But, again not for the first time, I am waiting for the result with battered breath.
I remember my 8th grade final exams, as that was the first time I was nervous about the result(ok, not the first time, but undeniably the only time I cared!). I know I didn’t do well in 2 of the papers and was wondering whether I need to do the year again. I had kept all the books safely, was not interested in playing through the vacation and was basically praying day in and day out to pass. Belive me it was quite a feeling when I got the result. Sometimes I pity the guys who never have to go through such kind of emotions.
Trust me; I never went through the same feeling there-after, until yesterday, which prompted me to write this. But the only difference is that, this time around I am confident that I had done it well. At least no obvious screw-ups! God! the same old feeling! Same old thoughts! Butterflies all round. Seeing the same thing any where I turn. Not able to concentrate on anything (else). Its killing me… Why just not know the result? Honestly I (may) not suffer even if I fail. In fact (again, I may) feel happy, as the clouds have passed. But the delay? Shit it makes me tense. I can feel my heart pounding right in front of my eyes, my hands shaking as I type this. It’s been 2 days since I slept (not sure how many sleep the day before an important exam. I don’t). Not sure when I will be able to!
So what now? Back to prayers (what else?). But this time around I am not sure what to ask for, what to hope for. Since the ball is in their court now, all I can do is keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best. But what is ‘the best’? Com’on, had I known that I would have prayed for that.
God at least let the results out soon!
I remember my 8th grade final exams, as that was the first time I was nervous about the result(ok, not the first time, but undeniably the only time I cared!). I know I didn’t do well in 2 of the papers and was wondering whether I need to do the year again. I had kept all the books safely, was not interested in playing through the vacation and was basically praying day in and day out to pass. Belive me it was quite a feeling when I got the result. Sometimes I pity the guys who never have to go through such kind of emotions.
Trust me; I never went through the same feeling there-after, until yesterday, which prompted me to write this. But the only difference is that, this time around I am confident that I had done it well. At least no obvious screw-ups! God! the same old feeling! Same old thoughts! Butterflies all round. Seeing the same thing any where I turn. Not able to concentrate on anything (else). Its killing me… Why just not know the result? Honestly I (may) not suffer even if I fail. In fact (again, I may) feel happy, as the clouds have passed. But the delay? Shit it makes me tense. I can feel my heart pounding right in front of my eyes, my hands shaking as I type this. It’s been 2 days since I slept (not sure how many sleep the day before an important exam. I don’t). Not sure when I will be able to!
So what now? Back to prayers (what else?). But this time around I am not sure what to ask for, what to hope for. Since the ball is in their court now, all I can do is keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best. But what is ‘the best’? Com’on, had I known that I would have prayed for that.
God at least let the results out soon!
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